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Published By William Raymond at Smashwords

Copyright 2019 William Raymond

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ISBN 9780463755860

Chapter 1


He took the flaccid penis in his left hand and gave it a gentle tug to straighten it. He would have preferred an erection but thought he had to work with what he had in hand. He then looked up and gazed at the muscular, beautifully proportioned body attached to the penis. With his right hand he reached for the devise he was going to insert into this man’s penis. Before beginning the insertion, he looked up again and thought this was probably the most beautiful body he had ever touched. Craig had done this many times before but that had just been work. This time he felt there was something different happening. He was even beginning to feel a bit guilty about his feelings and his own erection. He was usually the consummate professional, but this time it became personal. With an antiseptic solution he sterilised the area commencing at the urethra and moving outward to the surrounding areas. He snapped at the assistant because she had not put the catheter close enough to his reach. She immediately complied with the order and Craig began the procedure after checking with the assistant that the catheter had been properly lubricated. He slowly inserted the catheter through the urethra and into the bladder till urine began to flow. He then inflated the balloon in the patient’s bladder and pulled back gently until the balloon was snug against the neck of the bladder. When he was satisfied with this part of the procedure and the patient’s comfort, Craig asked the assisting nurse to connect the drainage system.

While most men are usually pleased to have pretty young female nurses attend to them, the opposite is usually the case when it comes to being catheterised. Male pride kicks in and they prefer a male nurse to perform this procedure. Because of this Craig had often been called upon when on duty. As a result of this he had developed skills that enabled him to perform the procedure efficiently and with little discomfort to the patient. Craig also had a bedside manner that made anxious patients relax and this also helped make it easier for him to complete the procedure when patients relax their muscles.

Earlier in the day, Sister Jones, the nursing unit manager, was working in her office when she heard a subtle commotion in the ward. She went to investigate and found a group of female nurses squabbling over an unconscious patient. It seems that his doctor had ordered a catheterisation and each was keen to do the job. Usually this procedure is performed on older men, but in this case it was a young good-looking very well-built young man. Sister Jones intervened and suggested that if Nurse Craig was on duty then he should be called to perform the procedure. The senior nurse in the group was assigned to assist Nurse Craig and the new graduates could observe and learn.

The patient had been brought into emergency by an ambulance crew who attended to him after he was hit by a car on Oxford St. His external injuries consisted of a large bruise on his right thigh and evidence of his head having hit a solid object. When the police came around to interview the patient they were unable to do so as he was still unconscious as a result of having hit his head. The police told hospital staff they really just wanted to confirm from him the results of having interviewed the driver and witnesses to the accident. Witnesses said the victim was walking along looking at his phone, “Probably texting” one said. He stepped onto the road, against the red light, just as a car was passing. He had not actually been hit by the car so much as he walked into the side of the car then fell back against the kerb. His injuries were consistent with this evidence. X-rays showed he had no broken bones and initial head scans showed nothing abnormal, but the emergency doctors still wanted a neurosurgeon consult.

He did not regain consciousness in emergency so he was put onto a drip to keep him hydrated, transferred to the high dependency ward for observation and catheterised for his comfort. He regained consciousness overnight.

Despite being a very caring nurse, Craig rarely took his work home with him, preferring to keep the two parts of his life separate. That way he could relax when off duty and be refreshed when he returned to duty. But, that night when lying in bed waiting for sleep to take over, he could not help but thinking of the patient he had catheterised that afternoon. He was not thinking of him in a caring way or worrying about his condition or prognosis. He was in fact seeing the patient in a purely lustful way. He felt a little guilty about this, but thought he deserved a little fantasy to help him drift off to sleep after such a busy day at work. Craig had a very clear picture of the man in his mind. When he was performing the procedure he could see the patient’s strong long legs beside him. These led up to narrow hips and external obliques showing not a sign of fat. Above that the tendinous intersection separated his rectus abdominus muscles to form a firm and well defined six-pack that you could probably bounce cricket balls off.

His perfectly contoured pectoralis minor & pectoralis major formed a set of pecs that were strong and hard but not overdeveloped. They pushed out prominent nipples that just screamed “bight me”. He was broad shouldered, with tanned skin stretched over a ripped body. His whole body was evenly tanned to a light bronze colour that you only get from having have spent some time outdoors, not in a tanning studio. Although the well developed muscles were evidence of a lot of time spent indoors pumping iron. He had a handsome innocent looking boyish face that was topped by short blond hair.

Craig was not assigned to the patient’s ward during most of the time of his confinement but popped in to visit each day that he was on duty. He found out the patient’s name was Justin Haynes. But Craig did not see who visited him, and so could not ascertain if he had a partner but his mother was listed at his next of kin. Each time Craig visited, Justin was naked to the waist with a sheet covering the lower half of his body. When he saw Craig approaching he always sat up and in so doing lowered the sheet to reveal just a little more for whom he thought was an appreciative fan.

Justin’s mother, aunt and cousins did visit at different times and while showing the appropriate level of sympathy, his mother and aunt also reminded him of how foolish he had been and pointed out to the cousins the dangers of texting while walking on the street and crossing roads. Justin was a compliant patient, submitting to various tests, scans and willingly giving blood and urine samples when required. He seemed to get more attention from the nursing staff than he thought was necessary. He was especially confused when some younger nurses offered to give him a bed bath, when he knew he was fit enough to go for a shower. When he asked Craig if this was normal hospital practice, Craig laughed loudly, explained what was happening and said he could stop it if it bothered him. Justin was a very attractive man with a gymnast’s body. He worked hard at keeping it that way as he had plenty of free time to spend in the gym. Justin just felt it was normal to look that way and accepted his good looks for granted but was not conceited about it. Craig explained that it was his good looks and body that was the reason for all the nursing attention. Every nurse on the ward was “in love” with him and was trying to find out if he was available.

After further scans the neurosurgeon was sure there would be no long lasting effects but ordered some brain function tests for Justin, before his discharge and a referral for a follow up consultation a week later. Justin recovered quickly and was discharged from hospital at the end of the week. While Craig considered it inappropriate to approach a patient while confined, Craig figured it would be OK to approach Justin once he had been discharged. Craig was on duty the day of Justin’s discharge & made sure he was assigned the duty of processing his discharge and referral papers. Craig was due for a break so he accompanied Justin out of the hospital and to the taxi rank. As Justin was getting into the cab he thanked Craig for his caring, gave him a big smile, handed Craig his phone and asked him to enter his number if he wished. Craig was so excited he fumbled with the phone but eventually keyed in the number and the two departed, both feeling really good about what had just happened. As Craig headed off for coffee his phone beeped to signal a text message. The message simply said “You are already very familiar with handling my cock. It may soon be in need of further attention. Are you interested in the job?” It was unsigned.

Chapter 2


Craig replied to Justin with an invitation to his Kingsford apartment for dinner on Saturday, as he was off duty for the weekend. Justin showed up on time with two bottles of wine, one red & one white as he did not know if Craig had a preference. Craig prepared a simple meal as he did not want to spend all evening in the kitchen. After an initial hug on arrival, Craig put the white wine in the fridge and gave Justin a tour of his home.

Craig enjoyed his home and had decorated it simply but tastefully. He brought some furniture and decorator items from his parents’ home and his grandparents had given him some old family items they had put in storage when they moved to Sydney. He had done the decorating himself and was pleased with the result. Justin was also genuinely impressed and told Craig so. It was a two bedroom unit on the third floor. It had a galley style kitchen with all the necessary appliances. The combined dining/living room was furnished with an older style but comfortable looking sofa covered in a dark blue fabric, a low table in front of the sofa and a dining table that sat four people but could be extended to accommodate six. Craig had set the table with red place mats and matching napkins, wine and water glasses and cutlery. There was a balcony leading off the living area with two cane chairs and many potted plants.

Craig’s bedroom had the queen size bed he had bought himself while still at his parents’ place and he had a few of his childhood memories framed and hung on the walls. These included a collage of photographs ranging from nude baby photo to his university graduation. There were also achievement certificates for sport and academic subjects. Justin thought it a beautiful idea but was a bit jealous that he could not do the same as he had very little from his unstable childhood and his possessions had always been quite minimal. The second bedroom had a sofa-bed for guests, but was usually used as Craig’s study. Justin looked around and noticed that one wall was complete bookshelves. On the bookshelves a few dog-eared classics that were probably from Craig’s school days, lots of medical books, cookbooks and some books about business and money management. One shelf had modern novels by authors such as Alan Hollinghurst, David Malouf, David Marr and a book he wanted to read, Andre Aciman’s, Call Me by Your Name. There was also a collection of DVDs of various genres. Distributed among the books were a few other items from Craig’s childhood, such as trophies, souvenirs from family travels and what Justin thought was an old hospital bedpan. He was looking forward to the explanation of that. All the shelves were stacked very neatly except for the bottom shelf. On the bottom shelf Justin noticed an untidy collection of gay magazines and newspapers.

Craig opened the white wine and they enjoyed that while he prepared the meal of steak with pepper sauce and two vegetables. Justin opened the conversation by asking Craig “Do you often ask your patient’s home for dinner?”

“No, of course not, that would be very unprofessional”

“So why me?”

Craig stumbled over his words in reply “Well,’s just that....”

“Are you embarrassed?”

“I suppose I am a bit, but bugger it, I like you Justin. Simple as that”

“Thanks, I like you too, that’s why I asked for your number”

Now that the initial awkwardness was out of the way they began to relax and feel comfortable enough to share their thoughts and their more recent life experiences first.

“So, how long have you been nursing?”

“About 5 years now, I got my first job at St Vincent’s after graduation and I have been there ever since.”

“So you like it a lot”

“Yes, I guess I do. It is really satisfying to help people to better health. So how about you, during our chats while you were confined you did not tell me what you do”

“I just do casual bar and waiting jobs around town. Well I did, not sure what I will get now, I have not called in since the accident. I should do that soon”

“So you don’t have a permanent job”

“No, just casual”

“Doesn’t that make you feel insecure?”

“No not really, I get by, though more shifts would be nice”

“Is that the only work you have done?”

“Yep, that’s me”

“Do you make enough for rent and living expenses?”

“My aunts are pretty flexible about that”

“So, you live with your aunts”

“Well yes I do. Craig, do you interrogate all your dates like this?”

Sorry, Justin I didn’t mean it to sound like that. It’s just that I could not function without certainty of employment. I guess that’s just where I come from. My family has expectations and I have grown up to place expectations on myself as well”

“Well good on you”

“Hey mate, I’m not being critical. I’m just trying to understand”

“I guess we don’t have family expectations. I barely have a family”

“How about you open that red wine while I plate up our dinner”

“So the inquisition is over?”

You bet; I just want us to share a good meal and let’s chat about something else”.

They enjoyed the red wine with the steak and discussed safer topics like music, movies and travel.

Dessert was to be strawberries and cream, and indeed it was but not served as Craig had planned.

Craig took the used plates from the main course to the kitchen and was about to prepare the strawberries when Justin arrived in the kitchen. He had already removed his shirt and this took Craig by surprise. Justin interrupted Craig’s plan to remove the tops of the strawberries and whip the cream, by lying on his back on the kitchen bench, right where Craig was about to work. He demanded that Craig whip the cream and spread it over his chest. Craig was up for it, so did as ordered. He whipped the cream till it was stiff, spread it over Justin’s tight, lean six-pack then dropped the strawberries onto the cream. Craig then fed one strawberry to Justin and had one himself. They continued till the strawberries were finished then Justin told Craig to lick up the cream and not forget the two little dollops that Craig had mischievously put on Justin’s nipples. Always dutiful, Craig complied and finished up by licking the cream from the nipples and feeding it to Justin via a kiss on Justin’s parted lips. Craig then ran his tongue down Justin’s beautiful body, felt the ripples as his tongue passed over his six pack then down to his flat abdomen and stopped when he reached the waistband of his jeans. He undid the button and slowly pulled down the zip. Immediately, out popped Justin’s perfectly formed, circumcised, fully erect penis. Justin was not wearing underwear. This was the first time Craig had seen Justin fully erect. He placed his lips to the tip and his tongue into the opening then he slowly let his lips slide down the shaft until he had swallowed Justin entirely.

Craig had often found first dates awkward when held in a public place like a bar or restaurant. This was the first time he had a first date at home. He was not awkward and it seemed to him that Justin was not either. Justin showered while Craig stacked the dishwasher and they both met back in the lounge room. Justin returned wearing only a towel and by then Craig was beginning to feel a bit over dressed. While he removed his T shirt, Justin went down onto his knees and unzipped Craig’s jeans, pulled them down to the floor and Craig stepped out of them. That was when Justin found out that Craig was a boxer short man. While he liked to see the shape of a man’s cock tucked into jockeys, there was something intriguing about what was unrevealed by loose boxers. He would have to wait a bit longer to see what Craig had to offer, and felt this was very unfair, as Craig had not only seen his cock many times before but was probably the first part of him that Craig had laid eyes on. They finished off the last of the red wine between kisses then Craig led Justin by the hand to his bedroom. Craig wondered who was going to undress the other first. Then upon thinking about the advantage he had over Justin indicated that Justin should remove the boxers and then they would be equal. The boxers came down swiftly as Justin was keen to see, kiss and taste Craig’s manly assets.

They both were lying on the backs, penises reaching up perfectly straight when Justin noticed they appeared to be very alike. Both circumcised, both perfectly formed heads and he wondered, could it be they we are the same size. To test this he kneeled over Craig and put their penises side by side. He looked Craig straight in the eyes and said “I think it’s a sign”

“What, that you are horny as hell”

“Well, that too, but we are exactly the same size. Maybe that’s a sign that we are a perfect match”

Craig raised his upper torso and leaned back on his elbows to see this revelation that Justin had discovered. “I see what you mean. Now put your tongue in my mouth and let’s see if they are a perfect match”

Sunday morning they rose late, showered and went to Coogee beach for brunch followed by a walk along the beach and the headlands. The day out finished with a meal at Coogee Bay Hotel. From Coogee, Craig drove Justin to Central Station for the trip back to Hurstville and Craig went home for some sleep, as he was on night shift at 11.00pm.

Chapter 3


Over the next few weeks they continued to date regularly, get to know each other better and share their life experiences. Craig had grown up in Maroubra, the only child of a medical practice manager and an accountant. He attended Maroubra high school and upon completing his HSC went on to get his nursing degree at Sydney University. He had a happy childhood, and while not being indulged he still had all that he wanted from his doting parents. Growing up near the beach meant he had healthy pursuits and freedom to enjoy the outdoors. But what he most enjoyed were his school holidays on his grandparents’ farm on the far north coast of NSW near Lismore. His great grandparents had been dairy farmers and left the farm to Craig’s grandfather who later converted the dairy farm to a Macadamia plantation in the 70s. When they retired they sold the plantation and moved to Sydney to be closer to their children and grandchildren, who all lived in Sydney suburbs.

Craig went to his grand-parents for his last farm holiday, before it was sold. It was a summer holiday he would never forget. He would often get the bus into Lismore to go to the movies, or games parlours or just to indulge in some unhealthy fast food. On this day he went to watch Brokeback Mountain at the local cinema. While waiting for the movie to start he looked around the theatre and noticed there were so many teenage boys in the theatre. The seats on either side of him were vacant when the lights went out, but before the first bar scene someone sat next to him. A blond headed boy about his age then asked Craig if he had missed much of the movie. Not wanting to talk during the film Craig answered briefly that not much had happened. During the fucking scene in the tent, Craig felt a hand on his thigh. At first he was startled but then relaxed and began to enjoy the warmth from the boys hand. By the time the two characters on the screen first kissed, Craig was not only feeling relaxed with the attention but felt stiffness between his legs. Was it the movie scene or was it the warmth felt from his fellow watcher. Craig decided to reciprocate to show the boy that his advances were welcome by placing his hand on the other boy’s hand still resting on his thigh. As he did this he felt his thigh being squeezed and knew he had made the right move. The two continued to hold hands until the movie finished but quickly released each other’s grip as the credits rolled and the lights came up.

The boys left the theatre together and Michael was the first to speak when they reached the foyer. “Hi I’m Michael”

Craig...pleased to meet you Michael. Did you enjoy the movie?”

“Sure did, don’t get to see much man on man action in movies around here”

Craig was hungry and hoped Michael might be also so asked “Do you want to go for something to eat”

“Yeah, what do you fancy?”

“Well you can’t get it in cafes, but a burger would do for now”

“I know just the place to get a good Aussie style burger with the lot. That will fill you up”

They chatted comfortably during the meal, discussing likes and dislikes and swapping life stories. Michael was a local, born and bred. He grew up in Lismore town, had visited the Gold Coast and Brisbane but had never been to Sydney. Craig asked if Michael knew of some place they could go to be together privately. As it turned out Michael’s father was a school teacher and he and his mother had taken the opportunity of school holidays to travel. This was the first time they had let Michael stay at home when they went travelling. He was not on his own as his older sister was studying at Southern Cross University. Michael and his sister were both regarded by their parents as sensible and reliable so had left them in charge of the house for the first time.

Michael invited Craig to his home, and added that this was OK because his parents were away and his sister was at Uni all day. They got a local bus to Michael’s place. Upon arrival Michael went to the kitchen to get some drinks and Craig came up behind Michael while he was standing at the fridge and put his arms around him. Michael stopped looking through the fridge, just stood there and enjoyed the contrast of the cold from the fridge and the warmth of Craig’s body pressed against his. Craig reached down to Michael’s waist and slowly put his hand under his T shirt, he felt the flatness and firmness of his stomach before reaching up to Michael’s chest and taking hold of his left nipple. Michael could not resist any longer. He abandoned the idea of getting a drink, slammed shut the fridge door, turned to face Craig, took his head in his hands and kissed him firmly on the lips. By now both had erections that felt each other through their jeans. Not letting go of each other they managed to stumble into Michael’s bedroom. That opened onto a veranda that had been closed in and formed an extension to Michael’s bedroom. There was a very large bean bag on the floor and they both flopped onto this, still wrapped in each other’s arms. Craig was not sure if this was Michael’s first time also, but was too embarrassed to ask. He thought he would be able to judge from Michael’s actions.

By the end of the afternoon the bean bag had some new stains but proved to be a safe nest for two naked young men to enjoy each other’s bodies and lie in each other’s arms and their sticky emissions.

The two spent the rest of the holidays together. They went to Ballina beach a few times. Michael visited the farm and met Craig’s grandparents. On Craig’s the last night in Lismore he was invited to Michael’s place by his sister. She cooked them a hearty meal and after dessert excused herself and went off to her bedroom to study. The two healthy young men looked at each other with the same thought in their minds. Craig phoned his grandparents and asked if he could stay the night. His grandmother was hesitant at first, but when his grandfather explained the unreliability of the local public transport late at night, he convinced his wife that it would be safer for Craig to stay with his friend. He further assured her that he could not detect in Craig’s voice that he had been drinking and it was unlikely that he was at some wild party. They had both failed to ask about Michael’s parents and did not realise they were not at home. Craig had not volunteered this information either.

Craig felt that Michael had planned this night down to the last detail. Parents away, dinner, his sister busy with her studies, no transport back to the farm and condoms & lube on the bedside table. He had thought on their first occasion together that Michael had little if no experience and was now pretty sure that he did not. That would make this night even more special if it were the first time for them both. Craig needed to know, so he asked Michael directly and received the answer he wanted. After some cuddles and a bit of genital fumbling, they drifted off to sleep in each other’s arms without consummating their relationship. They were both tired after a day at the beach and a long walk between bus routes. Michael was awakened by a neighbour’s cock crowing just before sunrise. He reached between Craig’s legs to discover that they had matching erections, so woke Craig with a kiss.

Craig rolled over onto his stomach. Michael was not sure if he had just done this unconsciously in his sleep or was sending him a signal. Michael decided to assume the latter and this was confirmed when he put his lubed hand into Craig’s firm butt. Craig parted his legs and raised his butt a little. Michael thought this was not an involuntary action of a sleeping beauty. After dressing his erection with protection he raised himself up to a kneeling position over Craig’s inviting butt. He massaged the roundness of both cheeks for a few minutes, gave each one a little kiss and moved in. As he entered Craig there was the expected moan. Craig moved up and down and side to side a little to allow a smooth entry of what Michael was offering. Craig was not sure at first if he was enjoying the sensation, or if he wanted to continue. But the penetration was smooth, slow and gentle on Michael’s part. This filled Craig with an overwhelming feeling of closeness, and warmth. His muscle relaxed and allowed Michael full entry to this most intimate part of his body. He enjoyed the feeling of Michael inside him. After full penetration, Michael just lay there enjoying the feeling and felt so close to Craig who had allowed him inside to share their bodies. Michael did not come. As this was the first time for each, he felt thrusting might not be comfortable so soon, and used the experience to allow Craig to get used to having someone inside him. After all, that was what he wanted for himself. He wanted to enjoy the feeling of penetration, the experience of sharing with another person. After a while Michael withdrew and they swapped positions. They were both happy having shared the experiences of giving and receiving. This was not necessarily how Michael had planned it, but it just seemed right for now and what he did not know is that Craig felt the same way. These young men had found each other accidently. Felt something in common, enjoyed each other’s company for a week and had now taken their first steps on their respective sexual adventures.

Chapter 4


Justin grew up in western Sydney, the child of a school teacher and a plumber. It was a catholic family so Justin attended the local catholic schools. He was not a good student as he was not academically inclined. However he worked hard and managed to keep up and get fair grades. Instead he was good at most sports, but particularly enjoyed gym work at school and joined a gymnastics group outside of school.

Justin had known for about two years that he was gay, but kept it hidden from family and friends, until he was found by a school prefect in the toilets, with Sam Hiscock, the school gardener/handyman. It was not the first time they had been together around the school, but they had become a bit careless about their meetings. On this occasion it was about 15 minutes after final classes for the day and all students and most teachers had left the campus. They had not realised that one of the prefects was doing final rounds and they were caught, Sam with his pants down and Justin on his knees. The prefect was a bit of a try-hard and would do anything to impress the teachers at St. Patrick’s if it furthered his promotion through the prefect hierarchy. They both pleaded with the prefect to not say anything. But the more they pleaded the more determined he was to report his find. It would get him brownie points with the principal and he hated gays anyway. It was odds on that Sam would lose his job and Justin would at least be outed, if not expelled.

The next day Sam did not turn up for work, but Justin went to school, hoping that their pleading might have worked. By lunch time he had heard nothing from either the prefect or the principal, so he thought they had gotten away with it. He even thought about what he could do to thank the prefect, but ruled out a blow job. Mid-afternoon he was hauled out of class and off to the principal’s office where his father was waiting with Brother Francis, the principal. Both were furious and threatened all sorts of punishment. Sam had left Justin to face the music on his own. The principal wanted to expel him from the school, but his father intervened and the principal relented. As furious as his father was with him he still believed his son needed a good education and expected that the school would now keep Justin on a short lease and that would be the end of this sort of activity. The event was to be kept from his mother and it was agreed by all that no more would be said about it. When Justin’s father asked Brother Francis what would happen to Hiscock, Brother Francis told him his employment would be terminated immediately but for the sake of the school’s reputation there would be no police report. Further, he assumed Haynes did not want his son to be put through a police interrogation and possible court proceedings. Haynes agreed but indicated that if he ever saw the man again he would take care of the matter himself. Brother Francis made no further comment.

A story was fabricated about why Justin’s father was summoned to the school in the middle of the day. His mother was told that they need a plumber urgently and Justin had volunteered his father. Justin went along with this as he loved and respected his mother a lot and did not want her to be hurt or disappointed in him. As for his father Justin did not care too much for him, but if it kept him out of trouble with the school he would go along with it.

But Justin knew he was gay and that it would not change, so he just had to be more careful about what he did and where he did it. He continued to seek out men with the same leanings as his but decided that the school grounds was not the place to do it and that now he had some experience with an older man showing him the way, then he would seek out younger sex partners where he would not always be the bottom.

After the incident with the handyman at school the family seemed to get over it and things went well for a few months until one day when Justin’s mother came home from work in a very strange mood, but did not tell her husband or Justin what was bothering her. It seems that the school where she taught was about to employ a new handyman. He had been interviewed, his references checked and the principal was about to appoint him to the staff but needed the formal approval of the state education department & a working with children check before making any staff appointments. Justin’s mum’s friend Narelle worked as the staff office assistant and had to prepare the applicant’s paperwork to send to the education department. She realised when photocopying the documents that she recognised the photograph of the applicant. She had remembered she had seen him before at St. Patrick’s school doing lane markings and other maintenance work when she attended sports days of her nephew who was a pupil at St. Patrick’s. When she came to copying the references there was none from his previous employer, St. Patrick’s school. When she checked his resume, she saw that he had shown that period as being on a working holiday in the UK. This seemed odd to her but she did not want to tell the principal in case she was mistaken about having seen him at St. Patrick’s. She decided to ask her friend Jessica Simpson, as she knew her son went to that school. She asked Jessica if she knew a Sam Hiscock. She could not remember the name but when shown the photograph recognised him as the previous gardener at St. Patrick’s. When this was confirmed, Narelle thought she should tell the principal, who then immediately called St. Patrick’s for a reference. Brother Francis told principal Edwards, principal to principal what had happened, but said it was to be kept confidential as the student was underage and the school did not want any scandal.

Hiscock never returned to St. Patrick’s and the school never actually dismissed him. Hiscock was afraid that if he had returned the school would certainly dismiss him and may involve the police as well. Brother Francis was of the opinion that if he formally dismissed Hiscock then they would have to put it in writing and give a reason for dismissal. This would create a record of the incident, which he did not want. Conveniently for the school his employment was terminated on the grounds of abandonment. Catholic institutions were already under a cloud of suspicion about sexual abuse and he did not want to add to that. Principal Edwards told Narelle not to send the documents to head office because there was a problem with the applicant’s references. He did not explain why but she was suspicious. She told Jessica this and left it at that.

When Jessica went home her husband was already home and Justin was still at gymnastics training. She asked him if he knew Sam Hiscock and why he would not reference the school as a previous employer. He denied any knowledge of even knowing Hiscock. Jessica suggested that he might have met him on that day about six months ago when he was called to the school to fix their plumbing. She said that she would expect the maintenance person from the school to be involved in calling on his assistance. He said there was someone, but he did not remember his name. She then described Sam, hoping it might trigger a memory in her husband. By this time Brendan was getting tired of his wife’s interrogation and started to become agitated and angry. His manner became such that she became suspicious of her husband’s denials, but knew better than to press him any further as she had experienced his anger before.

A few days later she casually brought up the name of Sam Hiscock in conversation with Justin and first asked him if he remembered the man. Justin said he used to be our maintenance man at school, but wanted to know why she was asking. She said that it was not important but he had applied for a job at her school and had been unsuccessful because he did not have a reference from St. Patrick’s. She asked Justin if he remembered him ever being in trouble at his school. He said no, but knew exactly what she was referring to, even though he felt she did not really know. He did not want to be questioned any further in case he accidently gave anything away or motherly intuition kicked in, so he excused himself to go and do his homework before dinner.

When Jessica ran into Narelle in the staff room next day, she told Narelle neither her husband nor her son knew anything about any incident at St. Patrick’s involving Sam Hiscock. This further piqued Narelle’s interest in the matter and so the two became the Cagney & Lacey of Blacktown High and set out to solve the mystery. School staff rooms are usually a hotbed of gossip, but over the next few days, neither of them could get even a whisper of scandal out of their colleagues. When they next met they concluded that either they were being left out of the loop by their colleagues or for the first time they genuinely did not know of some inter-school scandal. If it were the latter then they would have to step up their investigation. But if it were the former then why were they not being taken into the confidence of the local gossips. They both secretly hoped it was not because one of them was somehow involved.

Narelle decided to put some pressure on Principal Edwards, as she was sure he knew more than he was telling her. But she would have to be subtle or he would just clam up if he thought she was just after gossip. She thought she would try the tea and chocolate biscuits approach. He usually took his tea break in the relatively peaceful atmosphere of his office rather than go to the noisy staff room. Sometimes he would invite Narelle to join him so they could discuss school business. So, the next day Narelle decided to invite herself to a morning tea discussion. She showed up in Principal Edwards’ office with tea, chocolate biscuits some trivial school matter to be the subject of their meeting and the application papers of Sam Hiscock. She used the pretext of what to do with the papers as a way of opening up further discussion after dealing with the other minor matter. She asked if she should file them, destroy them or did the principal have any further use for them. He could sense that she was fishing for information, but as she had always been a trusted assistant and had not previously broken any confidence, he decided to tell her enough to satisfy her curiosity. Narelle had indeed always been loyal to the principal and kept school matters confidential. But on this occasion she also had a duty to her best friend. The information she had to pass on to Jessica could be explosive.

If Jessica was not on playground duty during lunch break the two usually joined the rest of the staff in the communal staff room. On this day Narelle invited her friend to join her for lunch in the park across the road. She told her friend what she could from her discussion with the Principal. She felt there was no need to tell her to keep the information confidential. That was obvious given the nature of the revelation. What piqued Jessica’s interest was that Brother Francis had let it slip in his conversation with principal Edwards that the boy involved was the son of a local plumber.

Justin’s mum did not think it could be her son and certainly did not want to even entertain such an idea. When she asked her husband if he knew any other plumbers in the area whose son might attend St. Patrick’s, he wanted to know why. He had not forgotten about the incident but did not connect that with his wife’s question. He asked her why she wanted to know about other plumbers so she told him what she had heard about Sam Hiscock. He was furious and thought she knew and was just trying to get him to admit to it. His denial was so strong that she then became very suspicious, so to save having an argument she said to drop the whole subject. Her husband could have a frightful temper and she did not want him angry when Justin came home.

He appeared to have calmed down, but when Justin arrived home he took him out to the backyard and started questioning him about it, assuming he might have told someone who leaked it back to his mother. The situation quickly moved from a discussion to accusation to shouting and was about to become physical when Justin’s mum, who had been watching from the kitchen window, went out to stop them. He then attempted to take a swipe at his wife, he had done this in the past but she had learned to duck but always covered for him later. Justin decided to tell his mum in the hope that if it was brought out into the open then there would be no more need for secrets. He told his mother the whole story and in doing so outed himself. Justin’s mum comforted him, and screamed at her husband that he had no right to hide this from her and in so doing cause Justin to suffer so much. She, like most mothers of sons was close to her boy. She said she was not disappointed if he was gay, he was still her son, still the same person he was before and she would support him fully in his decision. She then turned to her husband and suggested he say the same. Instead of doing so he remained silent for a few moments, but they could both see the anger boiling in him and knew that when he let it out, there would not be peace in the Haynes household that night. Justin and his mum left the house in her car and went out for Chinese, hoping that upon their return, he would have calmed down. They thought that even if he could not accept Justin’s sexual orientation at least he would tolerate it for the sake of the family. While eating Justin told his mum that now he had outed himself to her, then he felt he could come out to anybody. It was her that he did not want to hurt, but in fact it turned out she would be his closest ally. She asked him to be cautious about that, but knew her son would have his way.

By the time they returned home, the empties on the floor revealed that Brendan had consumed a number of beers and was now half way through a bottle of scotch. He was not of the nature that alcohol could calm. In fact it was just the opposite. It made him even more pig-heated and sometimes violent. When Justin went to his room to avoid any further confrontation he saw that there were two large garbage bags and his backpack on his bed. Still opened but both full of his clothes and other personal items. Sitting on top of his backpack was his pack of condoms with FAG, written in marker pen. His mum followed him to the room a few minutes later. Brendan had already told her he was throwing Justin out of the house. She did not say anything to him as it would just antagonise him further. Justin and her looked at each other, both knowing what the packed bags meant. They both left the house and his mother drove him over to his aunt’s home.

Julia was Brendan’s sister and lived with her partner Hannah and their two sons. Each was the birth mother of one child. Julia said she was not surprised by her brother’s actions. It was what she had come to expect of him over the years, especially after the way he treated her when she told him she was gay and was going to live with another woman. They had not spoken since then. That was over ten years ago. Both women welcomed Justin into their home and offered his mum a bed for the night also, but she declined knowing it would only make it worse when she eventually returned home. The two boys were thrilled to have their older cousin in the house, although they did not fully understand why he was there. After a week or so there was a further family conference held without Justin’s father. The purpose was to decide about Justin’s future. It was agreed by all that Justin should stay with his aunt for the meantime to finish school. He would complete his school certificate this year and he need peace and security for that. If he completed that successfully then he would be welcome to stay there for the next two year to complete his higher school certificate. They did not expect any financial support from his father, so the aunts offered him bed and board and his mother would pay his school fees and other educational expenses out of her wages, as well as pocket money. That plan was carried through until Justin successfully completed his HSC two years later. He had no contact with his father in that time.

Chapter 5


Craig & Justin continued to date regularly, when they each had time off together. The two felt comfortable in each others’ company and Justin was feeling at home when at Craig’s. One night over pizza, beer and a DVD, Justin asked Craig how much rent he paid for the unit and Craig explained how he came to be living there.

Craig’s apartment was in fact owned by his parents. They had purchased it as an investment, using as a deposit the money Craig’s grandparents had given his parents when the farm was sold. They got a good price for the farm and as they had no debt on the farm, decided to share some of their good fortune with their children while they were still alive and could enjoy seeing them use it. The unit had always been tenanted since they purchased it. Craig had lived at home until he completed his nursing studies. His parents had always supported his lifestyle and put no conditions on him having visitors, even for overnight stays. But Craig, always being a bit shy, had always felt a bit uncomfortable having his lovers stay over at his parents’ home, even though he knew they did not mind. So when he got full-time employment at St. Vincent’s, he worked out a budget to see if he could afford a place of his own. He did not want to share with a flatmate so the place needed to be cheap enough for him to afford on his own. While he was looking around for a flat the tenants in his parents’ investment property vacated and his mother suggested to his father that they make the unit available for Craig. They both loved the idea as it would not only be helping their son but they would have a reliable tenant and save on agent’s management fees. But they were not going to give it to Craig free of rent and Craig did not want this either. All three negotiated a rent that suited all their needs. His parents were still getting a return on their investment and Craig felt the independence of supporting himself. Craig paid his parents just a little less than market rate for the unit.

Craig asked Justin how he came to be living with his aunt, her partner and their two teenage sons in a three bedroom house. Justin was unwilling to tell Craig the whole story so early in their relationship as he feared losing Craig if he disapproved of his family. He just told Craig “Things were difficult at home because my father did not approve of me being gay so I moved to my aunt’s for the peace of the family. When I first moved there I was fifteen so I was given my own room and my younger cousins shared. Now that they are older and wanting some independence the house is getting a bit crowded and living arrangements can be tense. But my aunts won’t ask me to leave as they love me and I try not to be any trouble to them. But most importantly they promised Mum they would take care of me.”

“Have you ever thought of moving out” asked Craig.

“Well I am aware of the family tensions and would like to move out, but my lack of regular employment means I can’t afford a lease on a flat and friends I have asked to share with are wary of taking in a flatmate without regular income.”

“I didn’t go to uni, like you. I didn’t even do a trade course or follow up my HSC with any further study. I find it difficult to get motivated by my work and come from a family that placed no achievement expectations upon me. In some ways I think I slipped between the cracks. I know my aunts still care for me but naturally they have prioritised raising their own sons. I have not spoken to my father since I was fifteen and have only occasional contact with Mum. He thinks we have no contact and that Mum has cut me out of her life like he has, so she only calls me from her work.”

Justin did not have any work now, as prior to his accident he only worked casual shifts at pubs and restaurants. He tried the places where he had worked before and although they promised to put him on the books, he never received any call-backs. Craig promised to call his friends at the restaurant where he had previously worked when a student, to see if they could give Justin a few shifts per week to get started.

Justin knew that Craig usually did not like to have him stay over on the nights before a morning shift as he wanted to get a good night’s sleep before a 7:00am start. After the movie ended, Justin finished his beer and suggested “I had better be off now, so you can get an early night”. But tonight Craig was feeling very relaxed and replied “You don’t have to go, you know”

“But I thought you had a rule about school nights”

“Oh, I usually like to have an early night before an early shift.”

“... and it’s still early” suggested Justin

“You’re right, so if we went to bed now we would not be breaking any rules, would we”

Craig started to clear the remains of their meal, but Justin said “Leave that, I can do it in the morning, when you leave for work and just let myself out. I don’t want you to be late getting to bed”

“Seems like a reasonable idea”. They both squeezed into the bathroom together, as Justin already had a toothbrush at Craig’s, as he put it, “Just in case”. Then they cuddled up in bed together, shared a few kisses and lay quietly to go to sleep. Justin fell into sleep first, but was awakened shortly afterwards when he felt a hand reach between his butt checks and then the familiar coldness of lube. He rolled onto his stomach to signal his acceptance. Justin felt one finger, then a second and finally a third stretching him. The feeling was warm and tight but gentle. He felt the fingers withdraw and he heard the snap of a condom being stretched... a little delay and then he felt a slow penetration until the thighs of his lover reached his butt cheeks. He lay there still and soaked up the pleasure of slow full penetration. The fit was like a key in a lock. Then movement started, very slowly at first, then a little faster, in and out, enter and withdraw, yes it felt good to be full of his lover then no, don’t leave me empty as the tip of the penis almost slipped out. Pleasure and pain, come and go, arrive and depart, put and take. All of these feelings alternating like a pulse, again and again. Invade and retreat, insert and extract, occupy and vacate, please don’t let this end, but climax is near for both. Explosion, fireworks, bells toll, canons fire, then peace, stillness, satisfaction and contentment. Lay motionless and completely sated, then sleep.

The next night at home in his own bed Justin could not sleep at all. He lay there like a tortured soul. He was unable or at least unwilling to tell Craig the whole reason why he left home when he was fifteen. He did not think Craig would accept him if he knew the truth of his family. Craig came from a loving almost squeaky clean family and Justin felt he could not reveal his background from such a dysfunctional family, especially that his father had thrown him out of home. He felt he was already skating on thin ice by not having regular work and was lucky to have Craig allow him into his life.

Before meeting each other, their lives had taken very different directions. Craig was from a stable family, good student at school, professionally trained, holding down a full-time responsible job, part of a small circle of friends and generally entertained at home or at friends, with the occasional night at a club or pub. Justin on the other hand was none of those things. Yet these two young men found an attraction in each other that gave them both comfort and security. The one thing they did have in common was they were both only children and had therefore learned to entertain themselves and were comfortable in their own company.

Justin was soon regularly staying over at Craig’s flat. On Craig’s days off they would treat it as a weekend and Justin would stay for two or three night at a time. Other times it might just be one night, depending on Craig’s nursing roster. To assist Justin in knowing when he was available and when not to call, because he might be sleeping after shift work, Craig started to give Justin his nursing rosters, which were usually planned a month in advance. This generally worked well for Justin, but as he had more time off than Craig he was often on his own and would call Craig whenever he thought he was not working or sleeping. But, then often he could not reach Craig even on what should have been free time. He started to wonder if Craig was also dating someone else, but did not ask as he did not want to seem jealous or possessive.

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