Excerpt for Mozek Part 5: Unforgivable Crime by , available in its entirety at Smashwords

This page may contain adult content. If you are under age 18, or you arrived by accident, please do not read further.

Copyright 2017 Kaylee Barnes

Chapter 49 If Only

A male with brunette hair is feeling rather impulsive today. This boy is 19 years-old with a a tendency to be deathly quiet. Even though, he prefers to use his small voice for important things it is still known that he physically acts out of this portion.

Any day like this wouldn’t be well understood to an untrained eye, however, a skilled professional could tell you what exactly is this person’s intentions. The young man has such a large quantity of thoughts in his head. So much so, that it may collapse his brain one day.

The brunette sits on a wooden chair, barely stable. While doing algebra on a scuffed paper, he holds his breath as someone slides by. Another man with the most appealing shade of black hair and blue eyes is oblivious to his surroundings.

Nothing in his life has made him feel in such a foreign way. The 19 year-old feels insanely guilty for these intense emotions that he holds for a stranger. It is only necessary to ignore such thoughts and feelings.

There are so
many possibilities as to what can happen in his brain. The young man can almost fulfill all of his staggering emotions, though, they could never possibly happen in real life. This is why he must use such an impressive power!

All that he has ever wanted to do, was experience something friendly. Someone whom is kind, to tell him he is wanted. Perhaps that person is exactly in his presence.

The kid knows all too well that he was cursed with bad luck at a young age. No one would be willing to care about him. If only, he could be in control of how things go in life. If only.

Chapter 50 Starry Night

He always goes unnoticed, though somehow, today is different. What has changed such misfortune so quickly? Did he even deserve it? Perhaps, it is due to the stars.

The 19 year-old watches the older male’s clothes wrinkle as he sits beside him. The twinkle in his eye warns him that he should make no moves until it’s time. The man with charcoal hair parts his plump lips to speak.

The brunette’s spine impulsively tingles accordingly to the deep pitch of the other man’s echoing voice. “Hey, I’ve seen you in here quite a bit and realized we haven’t formerly met. My name’s Carver.”

The younger boy bends his brows as he swiftly shakes the outgoing hands of his peer. His heart patters lightly with a twitch in his tongue. It was difficult to speak, yet it was well worth it, because this moment is precious.

“H-H-Hey, Car...ver? I’m T-Trevor. N-Nice...to m-meet...you.”

Carver snickers softly at the small and shy tone of the other. He calmly pats on the teen’s right shoulder. “So, did you drop out, Trevor?” The brunette forcefully bit his lip as he shriveled up words to say.

“U-Uh...m Yeah, I-I...Yes. Did you?” The 21-year old quickly shook his head to respond. “No, I’m actually a tutor here.”

It was true that Trevor was desperately searching for phrases to say. Even though he has made up a million scenarios in his head of what could happen and what should be said over the years, he had forgotten at the most prominent time of his life. “Oh.”

The 19 year-old had grind his teeth together for saying only one meaningless word. It was soon accepted that the bad luck curse had caught it’s prey. “Well, you seem cool. Do you like pizza?”

What an odd thing to ask. “No. I mean- I never ...I n-never had it. W-W-Why?” Trevor anxiously cursed his annoying fluency disorder. It made him out to look like a pure idiot.

“Oh man, that’s unheard of! You’d probably like it. Would you want to come with me on Friday to that pizza place on Main St? We can get to know each other.”

How did that happen so easily? There is a god out there that is helping him out. Why would anybody want to spend time with him?

Trevor had to constantly remind himself that it would not be a date. That is completely absurd. That fantasy would only apply to the world he has created in his head over the years called Mozek.

Chapter 51 Mozek Vs. Earth

As Trevor lain in his tattered bed at the foster home, he stares off into space. Within space, anything could happen. If only it was like that on Earth.

He envies the people whom would never wish for a better life than this. The 19 year-old is sick of pretending. He wishes everyday that he soon can join Mozek. Though, it doesn’t even exist but in his head.

The life he favors is torn in half by the angst of reality. All of his friends in Mozek would surely agree that he is welcomed there. Trevor is kept under surveillance due to 72 suicide attempts in the past.

To be unchained from the laws of gravity is all he ever wanted. To not feel such immense pain, to feel wanted, to be cared about is such a far-fetched dream. Carver was just that, a dream.

An angel that he did not deserve would be here for him shortly. But for now, his deep sleep filled with short-lived dreams called him towards. He had no intention to sleep, but it came so easily right now.

The time is 6:32 P.M. A knock on the teenager’s door alerted him out his dream cycle. His hair thrown upon his face soaked up his hot sweats. The brunette’s eyelids struggled to lift.

“Yes?” On the other side of the door stood Sarah, his caretaker. The girl had a surreal kindness that tickled the male’s cheeks. “Someone is here for you. Were you expecting-”

Trevor’s eyelids jumped open. How could he forget his date! No, it’s not a date! “Yes! U-Uh...Sorry! I-I-’m going to...T-Thanks.”

The 19 year-old leaped into the driveway to find a 5’7’’ man. His hair was heavily groomed and his skin bronze. Carver smiled warmly upon the disheveled man.

“Did you forget,
Trevor?” The sound of the younger male’s name sent chills up the brunette’s spine. His face was painted with a crystal clear shade of crimson.

“Y-Yes.. I..mean..I-I..mean..U-uh...” The height difference was soon noticed when the male with charcoal shuffled the greasy hair of the younger male. “It’s fine. You ready?” Trevor have never felt less ready in his life.

When they arrived at the restaurant, it was abruptly recognized that Trevor had no money to pay. He had forgotten everything recently! His face grew hot with extreme embarrassment. How would he tell him?

Both stayed seated at the table. Across from one another, Carver was the first to speak. “So, you never ate pizza, huh?” The younger one violently shook his head.

“Well, let’s change that. Are you vegan or vegetarian?” Trevor was panicking at this moment. Everything was just so dreamlike and blatantly intense. Could he be dreaming?”

“I...uh...N-No. I don’t...I d-don’t eat...m-m-meat. Sorry.” The brunette wished he could automatically stop stuttering, though it seems to get worse when he’s scared or nervous. That time would be now.

“Oh, no worries. What about cheese? You like that?” The 19 year-old nodded with blushed cheeks.

Once, they did obtain some pizza from the restaurant, the younger of two started to search for absent utensils. Carver chuckled abundantly. “No, no, no. You pick it up and eat it. You’re so funny.”

The brunette’s heart dropped that he had
already made a mistake. “O-O-O-Oh...” The younger male did as so, then paused before he took a bite and looked up to the other for approval.

The Indonesian grinned as he nodded before taking a bite of his own slice of pizza. “So, are you from here?”

Chapter 51 Unsolved Fiction

This is Trevor Dane Fredrick’s actual life. In his mind, things are different, they are just the way he wants them to be. Sure, it’s like a story. When things go wrong in his life, he’ll use his mind to comfort. If he is angry, he’ll take it out on a character in his head.

There is no harm in this habit, right? It’s not like he is actually hurting people. They are all fake. These people are all made up.

If only it was true, if only Carver was his to keep. He does know, that all good will come to an end. This will happen a lot faster than one might think.

His head spins with memories of his former abuse before he was put in a foster home. The anxiety trickles down his skulls and pulsates through his limbs. He wishes he could forget, but he remember so vividly of what happened.

Why does life have to be such a way? What is the point of life if there is only nonexistent happiness? What would it be like to feel such a thing?

Trevor’s only hope relies within his new friend, Carver. Everything about him makes the brunette’s heart race. Why did he feel such an inappropriate feelings towards a man?

Why couldn’t he fall for a girl? It’d be much easier than this. Though he knows it is profane , he cannot halt the strong feelings that come with this.

On any day like this, he’d go out for a walk. Something pulls him down. A large weight of grimy and irritating darkness latches on to him. He knows this feeling all too well. Depression.

In Trevor’s world called Mozek, he names this obtrusive disease “The Deast”, because the presence is like a devil and a beast. It holds onto you for all eternity, quickly sucking your identity out of you. Deast is the worst to be around.

The brunette wants to know what it feels like for it to not follow him, though he probably will never know. It is unknown. In times like this, the boy will drift in outer space. The place within his mind will put an end to the violent tendencies that The Deast would soon provoke him to do.

Mozek is a place of true nirvana. The happiness that surrounds this planet is infinite. Many of his friends there understand him. They surely love him.

Sarah, Daren, Kanoa, Kalani, and his favorite person of them all...
Carver. Trevor’s face heats up as he remembers the things he had done with the man. This makes him truly guilty and ashamed to envision, but it is very exhilarating to imagine such complex events.

The 19 year-old’s head rests on his white pillow as he gently closes his swollen eyelids. Soon, he will be visiting Mozek and all the wonders that come with it. Soon he will be able to touch and feel his friend, his companion, his

Chapter 52 Secrets Exposed

“So, the day is free. What would you like to do?” This will be the time that Trevor does the unthinkable.

The younger male’s face lights up as he grins loudly up at the other. “I want to ask you something, but you have to promise not to get weird-ed out. Alright? “

The two both lain in a zalee embracing one another. The male with charcoal hair brought out a confounded expression. “What is it, dear?”

The 19-year old tried his best not to melt from the husky voice emitted from his friend. “Uhm..I don’t really know how to go about this. Well, I’ll just say it right out: You’re not real.”

Carver’s smile dropped completely as he sat up abruptly. “What do you mean? I’m right here. This is the afterlife. Are...you feeling okay, dear?”

Trevor grunted as he laced his arms together. “You said you wouldn't get weird-ed out! I want to tell you the truth, but I want you to be open to it.”

The Indonesian gave a slow and unsure nod as he patted the his companion on the right shoulder. “I’m not making fun of you. I just want to know where this is suddenly coming from.”

The younger of the two huffed, his face still fiery hot with dreaded embarrassment. “It’s coming from my head. I’m not dead, not yet, anyway. I wanted you to know I made this all up. I’m still alive on Earth. I was going through some troubles and...I...well...this is what made me feel-”

“Trevor! What are you talking about? I thought you came out of this...
psychosis. I love you, dear and I just want you to feel better. Because, all I ever see is your sickness and I just want to see you.

The brunette’s eyes teared up obnoxiously. Anger ran through his veins. He knew he could control Carver. This was all in his thoughts. But, why does it seem like this man always has a voice of his own. It was as if this is in Carver’s head too.

“ What the actual
fuck!? I’m not sick! I’m perfectly fine. Why...how come...you...don’t believe me?’

Unexpectedly, Carver dove in for a delicate kiss before being aggressively shoved back. Trevor would of never thought he’d say these words. “Don’t kiss me!

“I-I-I- don’t know what to say. We need to stop lying to each other. The truth is, I
do believe you. I already...knew. Because, well, I do the same thing to.”

Trevor’s eyelids widened with pure electric shock. “Wait. What do you mean you know and do the same thing!? What are you trying to tell me?”

The younger of the two never seen his friend look so shy at this moment in time. It was as if he was
...scared. “I mean...I know this is your world and I’m sorry that I violated it. I just wanted to know what you thought about.…”

His heart jumped to the bottom of his body as he gasped for air. The boy’s lungs began to fail him by hyperventilating. “You mean...Y-You don’t mean...that...this is...in your head to, do you? Am I r-r-r-really talking to...”

An echoing gulp was lifted out of 19 year-old. Carver nodded with unknown tendencies. The broken light began to piece and soon came a large amount of gratitude.

All of his questions has been answered. All that he ever wanted to know was right there in front of him. Magic is real. Dreams come true. There
is a reason to be alive.

Chapter 53 Awakened Symmetry
Trevor awoke quickly due to his alarming dream. There was no possible way that it was true! Nothing aligned up symmetrically. It has to be just a dream.

The teenager looked down at his bed sheets to see a puddle of sweat. It was time he go take a shower and try to forget everything that had just happened. It seemed as if everything was too good to be true.

The steaming water trickled down the male’s chin as he clenched his eyelids shut. How could Carver even attempt to explore his brain? That’s insane, it’s impossible!

It made sense, it didn’t make sense. This is the most confused he’s ever been. The brunette fiercely bit his bottom lip, breaking the skin. What has he become? Why does he feel such intense relief?

Is Carver even real? Could he still be dreaming? There was so many questions and not enough had been answered. He desperately needed to find out more about this situation.

But how? That’s it! Dreaming, that’s all he really could do anyway. There was no way he could talk to the guy in person anyway, he’d surely be locked up!

Later that day, Trevor arrived at his classes and was excited to be receiving a new tutor today. His last one moved away and barely even spoke English.

The 19 year-old was severely astonished to find out that Carver was indeed his tutor. How come after years of bad luck, he is now receiving the best of luck? The brunette was abruptly jolted away from his pondering questions swirling around his brain.

“So, looks like I’m your new tutor, huh? It’s nice to see you again, Trevor.” The taller man’s insanely attractive smile punched the younger of the two right in the heart.

Every time his green-yellow eyes were met with cobalt blue, it ignited something in the pit of his stomach. It’s was painful, though addicting to feel such a thing. As he broke the long eye-contact, he whimpered.

“Y-Y-Yeah. You...t-too.” The older male opened up a language textbook and pointed to a set of sentences. “Can you read this out loud for me?”

“T-T-T-The grey...s-sheep...r-r-ran...u-uhm...a-a-across t-t-the...m-meadow...a-and...d-d-d-dashed tow..a-ards...a..it’s.…u-uhm...parents...”

Trevor really wanted to crawl under a hole at this point in time. It was so embarrassing to talk and he had no control over his wavering voice. His new friend must think he is complete idiot.

Though what was unexpected from the older male was a pat on his back. “You did good. I want to help you find your voice. I think you have a potential to be a public speaker, even though you may not think so.”

The brunette stared the other straight in the eye. “Y-You...c-c-can’t be...ser..ious...” Carver grinned proudly. “You have a potential to do anything you want to do in your life. I have confidence in you, but the person missing the key of confidence is you,

What the literal fuck did this guy just say!? He called him, “dear”. He doesn’t even know him! Only Carver calls him....Oh my God.

“W-W-W-Why.. did...y-y-you...y-y-you...just c-c-call me...” The man with charcoal hair had shot his eyes wide open at the realization of what he had just done.

“No, no, no. I’m sorry...I didn’t mean to-” The Indonesian rested his vision toward the ground in utter humility. Trevor grew vicious by the moment. He needed answers

P-please...t-t-tell me...it’s n-n-not...t-t-t-true. G-G-G-Goddamit!! I-I-I c-c-c-can’t f-f-fucking t-t-t-talk!”

The older of two became increasingly worried for his friend. “Don’t be mad. It’s okay. You don’t have to talk. I-I’m sorry that I’ve done this. I just wanted to know what you thought about m-”

Trevor was experiencing rapid deja vu all over again. “Y-Y-Y...w-w-what...a-a-a-are y-you...t-t-telling.…m-m-me!?”

Carver crunched his face. “Don’t be mad at me, dea-. I’m sorry. I just wanted to help you out.”

The brunette grunted, feeling unpleasantly ill. He felt violated, to say the least. He knows for a fact that he must be dreaming right now. “A-A-Answer...m-my q-q-question, Car...v-v-er!”

The 21 year-old rubbed his temples as he let out a hitched sigh. “I did it. I know about your world of Mozek. I know everything there is to know about you. I...I am telepathic. I just want you to know, I meant no harm. I just wanted to understand you better, because I care about you. I’m telling you I’ve been with you through your adventures in you head. It’s not fake, it’s real. The people there have feelings and...I’m just so sorry. I messed up. I’m sorry.”

The 19 year-old could of sworn he saw a tear released from the other, but it must of been his imagination. This man isn’t known to cry too often. Everything was way too much to take in..

As he felt an instant headache appear, he began to whisper in order to control his voice. “P-P-P-Please just t-tell me...y-y-you don’t r-r-remember t-t-t-that t-t-time w-we...” His question was soon answered with a hesitant nod from the other.

“O-O-Oh m-m-m-my G-G-God!” Carver swiftly shook his head. “No, no, no! Don’t get upset, please! I wouldn’t have let you if I didn’t want to.…”

Everything is expensive. The time is expensive. Life is expensive. Love is expensive. When will anything be free to keep?

What more is there to know? Plenty questions will arise soon, but what’s the rush to know the answer to them? There is nothing impossible. This is a figment of human’s imagination. Everything is possible.

Chapter 54 Negative Awareness

Look at your surroundings. You do realize that you don’t even understand the half of it. The lightning strikes you down, just to lift you up again.

Rainbows and four leaf clovers disappear and reappear everyday. Have you noticed this? Maybe you should take your time to try to understand the world for what it is rather than for what it is not. Dream in color, but don’t sleep all day. Daydream and awaken your senses to the world unknown. There will come a day when you understand everything, yet you won’t be satisfied because you do.

When there is nothing to learn, what would be the point? Discover a range of sensations, some you may never no existed. Walk the 4
th dimension and don’t turn back. Go further into the future and the past.

No boundaries are sculpted here, only risks you can’t forget. It is the time and it will always be the right time to try something new. You can go backwards, forwards, or stay put.

It’s okay if you’re afraid, just know that each of us has a few angels, that only wish for you to conquer your problems. Dedicate yourself to the forbidden road. Walk it. Never look back. Because if you do, you won’t go forward and that’s all any of us really wanted to do.

It’s up to you, it’s not up to me or anybody else. It’s all up to you. You can control everything from the stars in space to smallest insecurities within yourself. You’re brain is a world. You’re heart is a world.

Do with it what you will, but there will come a day when you’ll have to enter another world. One you have no clue about. Disguise yourself as a confident person.
Don’t hold your true self in, be open.

What surrounds us here, won’t surround us tomorrow. Know the truth and use it wisely. This will come in handy if you really crave the day to know the unknown. I begging you to let go of everything. Forget your fears, they never helped you. Forget all the bad memories, even though you’ve learnt from them. Whatever you do, don’t forget who you are. If you’re still lonely, there is plenty of people to communicate within your brain, you’re world. It’s all up to you.

Chapter 55

What was he to do with this knowledge? He needed to know more. It was always more that he needed and never less. Daren noticed Kalani walking the false trail of the dimmed light park.

The male dashed up to her, earning him a punch in the rib cage. “What the hell do you think your doing, dummy!? Are you trying to scare me? ‘Cause that’s a dead end road for you.”

Shit. This girl was a handful to deal with. “No, I just wanted to ask you some questions about, uhm...what you were talking about at the arcade.” The young female puffed her cheeks in a sarcastic grin.

“What makes you think you deserve to know more?” That phrase extremely agitated the man. It was time to stop playing foolish games. “Listen, if we exist only in a dude or dudette’s brain, what’s the point? Why are we even here?”

The child grunted as she quickly crossed her arms. “You can’t just get information out of me, you have to earn it first!” Why is it so hard to get through any girl’s mind?

“Hold the fucking phone. How come you seem to know everything?” He knew he really shouldn’t be cussing to a 13 year-old, but hell, she already does the same.

“I already told you, I know the guy. I use to live on Earth.” This child had to be a pathological liar! “If you supposedly do, what’s his name?” Kalani hesitated for a second before she gave an unsure sigh.

“His name is Trevor. We are in his mind. We exist on Earth still. It will start to make sense soon, but don’t wear yourself out. You look beat to me.”

These words would forever rot in his mind. Against all of the forces of inactive nothingness, he shrieked up at the lying sky. “Are you telling me I don’t exist? It doesn’t even add up. I remember life on Earth. Let’s cut the shit, girl. You’re wrong.”

Stupid people with their small little brains. No one seems to open to new ideas. They barely even think. Humans are just zombies wasting away.

Kalani wanted to break this guy’s teeth more than anytime before. He has no right to question her knowledge. The brunette with pigtails jammed her index finger to the man’s chest.

“I told you, you weren’t ready to learn the unknown. Not until you’re mature enough to realize that the world doesn’t revolve around you!”

Everything this girl said was shockingly true, but Daren would never admit this fact. She did know. It was time that maybe he should change for the better.

This life, afterlife, or whatever it is gave him a lesson to transition into a personality that understood logic. All his narcissistic ways would be a thing of the past. Maybe it’s time he looked at the bigger picture.

Chapter 56 Telephone Dreams

A universe was created by a lonely boy name Trevor at the age of 3. As he met many people, he transformed them into characters. The young boy’s depression and anxiety worsened each year due to his living conditions.

He was brought up by female whom was addicted to heroin. Trevor would hate to admit it, but he was glad that she went to jail for man slaughter. It was his chance of freedom.

When he officially became a teenager, he was grown with PTSD from a nerve-wrecking event that happened. His step-dad had done the most dangerous thing to him. No matter how much he wishes he could forget, it will never matter.

This was the year his stuttering got progressed for the worst. He could barely talk. The boy was afraid, so he chose not to. The events of him and Carver never happened. It was nothing but a dream he had. Though, the memories of these dreams still reside withing his mind and heart.

All he ever did was think about the man. It became obsession, a hobby that calmed him to do. As you can imagine, it was the most astounding day when the male had finally communicated with him. On the downside, he had fallen in love with a telepathic person.

This realization was the most embarrassing thing he has ever experienced in his life. Carver knew everything there is to know about him. It was as if those dreams were real. The blue angel had ventured off to visit Trevor’s dreams.

It was real. He had created life outside of life. Death is only an illusion, you never die. When your life does end, however, you will be brought into another dimension where time fails to exist.

Perhaps the brain or the heart of someone you knew in your past life. Someone else will take your place. Sure, it’s an annoying thing to be leery about, but at least you have a soul mate.

Trevor Dane Fredrick was a Mozek enthusiast. His dreams are the only memories that are real to him. The dream world is the Mozek world. Jantung relies in another person’s mind.

This world has a story of it’s own. A very interesting story at that. Though, before we go any further, we must clear some confusion up. Trevor, Carver, Kanoa, Kalani, and Deast did die.

Life on Earth exists in a parallel universe. When humans die, their life will continue to jump from one universe to the next. Think of a game of Telephone. Things will slightly change as the words are misheard.

Are these dreams? Yes. Dreams are a universe within their selves. Dreams are not make-believe. Very rarely does someone share the dream with you. This is the case for Carver and Trevor.

Chapter 57 Enlightened Smiles
Carver wrapped his right arm around Trevor as he greeted him with a soft smile. They both walked through the bright-lit park. The summer trees swaying with a cooling breeze gave the brunette relief from his fuming cheeks.

It felt nice. It felt scary. It felt familiar, yet foreign. “It’s going to be okay. Now, that we both know about each other-”

The 19 year-old rapidly shook his head. “I-I- k-know n-n-nothing about y-y...you.” The Indonesian glanced down at the other as he raised one thick eyebrow.

“You know plenty about me, dear. What is it you don’t know?” The shorter of the two snuggled his forehead against the other’s chest as he listened closely to the other male’s gentle heartbeat. “I-I-It’s not f-fair. I-…I-It only m-makes s-s-sense to.…to...s-s-s-see y-your d-d-dreams.”

The loud chuckle startled the the brunette. “You’re more than welcome to. Do you know how?” Trevor gaped into his companion’s cobalt blue irises. “N-No.”

The Indonesian paused his strolling and stood in front of his friend. As he brushed the boy’s oily bangs out of his face, revealing his overactive acne, he grinned widely. “Come over. We can dream together.”

Trevor’s heart fluttered unsteadily at the invite. What did that even mean? “O-o-o-ok-kay.” He was beyond nervous as his eyelids began to redden with tears.

Carver’s bedroom was nothing like the brunette had dreamt about. It was spacious and bright. He hadn’t even known that the older man had already owned his own house. Trevor glanced at his friend’s silk sheets and blushed bright red.

What did he mean, “dream together”? What is that implying? The 19 year-old had to constantly remind himself that this was real life. He really is not at all adventurous like he made himself out to be in Mozek.

The Indonesian signaled for his friend to take a seat on his small bed. The boy did just that as he fumbled his fingers awkwardly. Trevor’s body jumped as the older male started petting his head. “Okay. The first step is to relax. So, lay down.” The brunette hesitated before slipping into a laying position on his back. He anxiously gulped as he looked up at his companion for further guidance.

“I need you to relax your muscles. Close you eyes and let go of all your thoughts.” The younger of the two crunched eyelids together as he knitted his brows. This in turn, had earned him a light giggle from the other.

“Just relax. There’s nothing to be afraid of right now. This is your time.” The Caucasian male slowly but surely did as instructed.

“Now, ease out of your tense muscles. If it’s okay, I can help you do this.” The bashful male nodded in agreement. Carver steadily rested his hands on both of the shorter male’s biceps.

He had increasingly put delicate pressure and rubbed in circles. Though, if anything, this made Trevor tense up more. His crush was...
touching him. These acts had made his heart patter violently against his chest bone.

“It’s okay, dear. Relax, that’s the only thing you have to do at the moment.” The deep and raspy voice of the other made the brunette lose it.

He couldn’t take it anymore. The touch, the scent, the sound, it was all too much. Though, he would push himself because Carver believed in him. He wouldn’t prove him wrong.

Trevor took a deep breath in as he tried his best to enjoy the massage. So badly, he wanted to open his eyes and see the man above him. As the male with charcoal hair got to his legs and then his thighs, the brunette’s heart rate skyrocketed.

Oh, how he hopes that the insanely hot man doesn’t notice. The 19 year-old’s eyes shot open when he heard his friend’s shaky voice. “Trevor?” He noticed! He noticed!


Chapter 58 Reality is a Dream

Trevor awoke to an orange sky with the most chilling atmosphere he has ever felt before. He knew where he was. He was in Carver’s dream. He was in Jantung.

It was true that he has been here before. It was true that this place was a complete nightmare. How could anyone want to be on this planet?

The 19 year-old walked along the shores of the glass ocean. As the smell in the air blistered his nostrils, he noticed that no one was to be seen any where.

“Hello?” The young man gasped sharply ass he felt a hand clasp onto his arm. “Hey, sorry I’m late. It took a while to fall asleep.”

It was Carver. “O-Oh. I had no idea that Jantung was your planet. Where did all those weird people go?” The Indonesian sighed in complete defeat.

“Daren killed them. There is no one here but Agnes and Sarah in the temple.” The shorter of the two started to whisper. “This makes no sense. Why would you act like you never been here before. You created it. Who is Agnes and why is she the queen of your brain?”

It was time for the man with charcoal hair to explain, no matter how much he didn’t want to. “This isn’t my brain, dear. This is my heart. Jantung means “heart” in Bahasa Indonesian. I don’t let anybody in here, because this place has secrets that I’d rather nobody know. So, all I could do is pretend that this wasn’t my heart. All the inhabitants were people I cared about. I know it’s a lot to take in, but I hope it clears somethings up.”

Carver was definitely not expecting the phrase that came out of his friend’s mouth in a damaged tone of voice. “You’re heart is broken.” The Indonesian molded a unrecognizable frown and questionably nodded.

“I...know.” The bitterness of the chilled air scratched the brunette’s complexion. “Why...is it...why does it feel so...lonely here?” It was a simplistic question with a complicated answer.

The older man rubbed his frostbitten nose. “It was fine until Mozek invaded it. Jantung acted so violently according to my emotions at the time. This provoked Daren to destroy it. I don’t know what I’m going to do about it. I’m afraid there is nothing I can do.”

Trevor clasped onto the 5’7’’ male, embracing the other in a warming hug. “It’s okay. We’ll fix it. I don’t know how, but we will. I have faith.”

This was when Carver unsteadily rose his palms to caress the other boy’s chin. They both gazed into one another’s eyes. As the Indonesian brought his forehead to clink onto the brunette’s, he traced his thumb over his companion’s bottom lip.

The silence sounded correct, peaceful, and angelic. “I want to feel again.” The shorter of the two mocked his friend’s usual behavior. He stood on his toes to reach the other’s bangs to toss out of his face.

“We only connect with eachother in dreams. Maybe we both need to feel something

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